| Ladies, Ladyboys, Slags,
With great sadness, I have to announce that the Royal and Ancient and the USPGA have unanimously decided that the SLAGS Masters will not be downgraded from its present status as the unofficial "5th Major". Naturally, we are very shocked and disappointed with this ruling and will work as hard as we can to get this famous tournament the reputation it deserves.
The 9th annual SLAGS Masters will take place on Saturday 29th September. This year, it could be bigger and worse than ever!
We have told Sky Sports where they can stick their millions; the SLAGS Masters 2007 will not be bought by Murdoch's dollar (although Sevenoaks Community Radio do have an option to broadcast commentary to local hospitals and institutions).
We have declined the Belfry, who were desperate to host this year's event. Only Lullingstone GC, the 'Home of 5hi7e Golf', is fit for such a prestigious championship.
By continuing to ensure the event remains invite-only, we can prevent the cream of the world's professional golfers from sullying SLAGS with powerful driving, pinpoint irons and dazzling putting. Instead, we expect the usual bottlers,
hackers and
scuffers to once again bring shame upon the noble game.
This is where you come in!
If you would like to take part, just send me (i.e Dork) an email. There's no need to give me your credit-card details yet - I'll email again in a few days with costings and further details depending on how many of you can make it.
Hope to see you all on the 29th.
Remember - always keep it ramrod straight
Dork Duval
Chairman
SLAGS
p.s. Please forward to any SLAGS I've left off the list, especially El Ninho Snr.
Bernie, tell Elton. Tim, please bring the TAGGS!
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